Tuesday 20 November 2012

Death from Above, A Life Misunderstood, and Stinks?

If you’re one of those who think that awards shows are pathetic, self-congratulatory wankfests where empty suits and dresses line up to kiss each other’s statuettes, think again - and do it fast,  because firey doom is near at hand.

The William J. Perry award is bestowed “in recognition of superb contributions to precision strike systems” and is named for a Secretary of Defense from the Clinton administration, also its inaugural winner.

It pleases me to imagine that the awards luncheon features hors d’oeuvres fired into the mouths of attendees by glittering bespoke mortars located high atop adjoining buildings.

Last years’ award was given to a $3.5 million, 15-ton Air Force bomb called MOP which is designed to penetrate through up to 200 feet of earth before detonating with enough force to crack a 60-foot-thick concrete bunker wall.

“I’d like to thank God, my parents, the dedicated management and support team at Boeing, and the entire military-industrial complex...”


One of America’s most acclaimed authors and naturalists, Henry David Thoreau, is best known for his 1854 novel “Walden”, an ode to simple living and unspoiled natural environments.

A fitting tribute to his legacy has been realized by the University of Southern California thanks to a $40,000 government grant.


In retrospect obvious, the idea of making a video game based on the story may at first have struck the grant committee as somewhat absurd, counter-intuitive or even bafflingly idiotic. But it seems their tireless dedication to excellence and artistic truth finally overcame their initial burst of sanity, and a check was cut before an audience of homeless disabled veterans.

Thoreau’s urgings to “Simplify, simplify” can now be realized at home provided you have a multicore CPU with at least 2GB of RAM, and a graphics card which supports DirectX v10.0.3a on a 24-bit display of 1280x1024 or better.



And on a lighter, somewhat fruity note, a new fragrance has been created by artists in Australia. Wasting no time with hints of forest pine, essence of tropical mango or the subtle musk of an autumnal glade, they seek nothing less than to remind our eager nasal passages of the unique experience of unboxing a Macbook Pro.

With the assistance of a sophisticated French fragrance laboratory, they have blended the signatures of “glue, plastic, rubber and paper” to evoke the distinctive smell of a just-unwrapped $2,000 laptop, which sources close to the story describe as redolent of smugness, fanaticism and credit card debt.

Tragically for Apple fans everywhere, the fragrance was created exclusively for an art exhibition and is not available for purchase. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Apple never shoulda fired Steve Jobs...

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