Voters

These people are, or someday will be, eligible to vote.

This is another reason why we are doomed.

Taxing the Thoughtful

Consider this an example of one hand washing the other - with soot.

Imagine you’re the government of a well known, timberland-encrusted, roughly rectangular state in the Pacific Northwest. Let’s call it Oregon, because there’s no reason not to.

You’re known far and wide for your iconoclastic, progressive, sometimes downright tree-hugging population, and like your politics, your landscape is almost relentlessly green.

So with such abundant resources of environmental consciousness available... isn’t it about time you taxed them?

The Root of the Problem is that Columnists Are "Dumb"

The debate over personal firearm ownership rights in the U.S. is not going to be solved here today. It’s raged for decades, and like any nigh-intractable argument, settling it once and for all would probably require - oh, I don’t know, some kind of really impressive gun, or something.

But please consider this a tilt at the windmill of media boneheadedness, or a futile middle finger directed at the limitless supply of mindless drivel that commentators seem to come equipped with (I assume they carry it in spare clips on a sort of bandolier strap, but what do I know?)

Kids in the Boardroom - the Story of AMC-14

Imagine you're a boy who's throwing $150 million up in the air to pass the time, until a gust of wind catches it just wrong and it gets stuck up a tree. Several passing grownups offer to help get it down, but that would be too humiliating, so you just leave it up there as a write-off.

While that’s not exactly what happened here, it’s just as stupid.

This story is set amidst the hallowed, locker-lined halls of SES Americom high school, a telecommunications satellite conglomerate based in Luxembourg...

Best Omnishambles of 2012 - Year-end Doom

This heartwarming little nugget of sociopathy dates from a few months ago, but deserves to be remembered, lest the unwary tread these treacherous shores again in days to come.

Imagine you have a very hip and popular gathering, such as SXSW, and you need to both promote your wireless services as well as provide them - but paying real estate owners to rent antenna space costs too much money, and even innovative ideas like paying temps to carry portable hotspots around seems a bit too spendy... wait, what about all those grubby folks lying around in alleys and bus shelters, they don’t seem to be doing anything important!