Success has Many Fathers, Doom is an Orphan

Oh, what a difference a year makes.

First, the good news: about a year ago, Congress passed the STOCK act.  Short for "Stop Trading On Congressional Knowledge", this is a measure intended to prevent insider trading by members of congress, their staffers, and other high-ranking government officials. 

This was a big deal, because insider trading had not been particularly illegal for members of Congress in the past... which made the stock market amazingly less risky!  For those who form policy that affects entire industries, Wall Street was more like an ATM than the slot machine it is for everyone else.

When the STOCK act was signed into law, there was much rejoicing - announcements rang out proudly, expensive suits got together to shake hands in front of admiring cameras, and the sun shone brightly that day on Washington's proud defenders of justice and virtue.  It's like the foxes got together and built a henhouse, then peacefully went away to enjoy some burritos.

And as the great circle of life turns, the bad news heaves into view: this week, another bill was passed and signed.  Bereft of a catchy title, 'S. 716' pulls the guts out of the STOCK act and leaves them dripping their virtues into the cold, cold ground.  The henhouse has mysteriously vanished, and the foxes aren't taking calls.

Funnily enough, S. 716 zipped through vacant chambers of Congress in 30 seconds flat, thanks to a real time-saver of a rule known as "unanimous consent", which means members don't have to go on record as having supported something which may attract unwanted questions later on.  (Who says Congress is slow?)

And when the bill was signed, the announcement from the White House wasted no time with flowery rhetoric or bold proclamations of a new dawn of honor and transparency in our government; there was no room for them, as it's just one run-on sentence.

It's true that insider trading remains illegal (and smashing good fun, according to several senators who spoke on condition of anonymity).  And there's still a requirement for detailed financial disclosures from many officials and elected representatives.

But the awkward part - making those disclosures actually available to nosy citizens, via a searchable online database - has been neatly excised, like a surgeon cutting a lung out of a tumor.

You see, digging up this information now requires physically traveling to Washington D.C., going into a specific basement cubicle of an obscure office building, and logging into a computer terminal.  There you can browse financial records from over 30,000 eligible government employees who may (or may not) have filed them, and print out the details - at just 10 cents per page.

So you can take them home for a few years, study them line by line like the guy from 'A Beautiful Mind' to discover any incriminating connections, and then swallow poison to kill the misery.

And while this kind of wool-pulling happens probably every day somewhere in the world, I was just struck by the marked difference in ceremony. Seems like everyone in Washington was grabbing credit for giving life to the STOCK act, but S.716 is about as popular as a wet fart at the papal conclave.

And don't forget: we're paying them to do this crap every day.  They make lot more than we're earning.  And we'll be re-electing over 90% of them next go-round.  Which is why we're doo- erm, we deserve the results we're getting, is what I mean.